To be honest, I am overwhelmed by the response that this blog has garnered. I didn't expect the visitors, and I certainly didn't expect the help that people are offering me.
I am surprised, and I am touched, at the same time feeling speechless as I can't find the proper words to thank you all for the emotional support and encouragement that you are giving. So I guess I will just say a simple "Thank you".
Because of the limited time that I can stay online before my laptop battery goes flat, I can't reply all the supportive comments that you have left in my portal. But rest assure that I read every one of them, and I have decided to write a message as a reply, so please forgive me if I don't address you as individual but as a whole.
I don't use my real name or even disclose the locations of my whereabouts is because I want to stay anonymous. The reasons to remain anonymous are (1) I am not looking for fame. All I wanted is to tell my stories, a channel for me to vent out whatever that's in my mind, and if just one person can benefit from my stories, that is more than enough for me, (2) I don't want my future employer to say "Oh! You are that homeless guy!" and I just want my peace of mind, and (3) I don't want people to look for me, tap my car window and scare me to death.
At this moment, what I need the most is peace of mind to calm myself down after the turbulent months that I had went through. Sleeping in my car is not something to be proud of, and to say that it is uncomfortable is overly understatement. Certainly, staying anonymous can allow me the peace of mind that I can think and work on things that I need to do.
In short, I need time to regain my life. It will take time because I have lost so much, not in terms of finance, but in terms of time, faith, and beliefs. But one good experience that I derive from all these is that no one can underestimate the capability and generosity of a stranger. I had witnessed it from Adrian, and now all of you. But we also cannot overestimate the helps that we can get from our so-called friends, as in time of needs, sometimes they will turn their back on you and walk away.
And for all the help that you are offering, please allow me to say that I am very grateful, but I need to find the steps in my life myself. I must get out of this hole myself as this is my sole purpose of surviving, period. I came to this world with nothing, and during the years, I had accumulated some small sum, and now I am reduced to nothing again. I believe that I will be back to where I was before all these nightmares, like pheonix rises from the ash. But I must do this myself.
But I am not alone. I have you guys supporting me even thought I am a nobody to you. Every night when I have trouble falling to sleep, I know that your support and encouragement is with me, so I feel much better. With that, I have the courage to face the challenges in life. The body ache from sleeping in the car will be a minor distraction only.
Yes, some will say that it is easy to drop a line of comment to show that you are supportive. But to take the time and effort to compose what you have just left as comment, that's something else.
But don't worry, as Adrian has contacted me and right now we are working on few things and when it is done, I will let you all know about the good news.
Please do keep the offers alive, not only to me but to those who need you as well. Before all these, I didn't realize that there are so many needy people around us, surrounding us. So please, offer the help to the needy people around you also.
Again, thank you.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
very coincident. i've replied someone's questions exactly the same way you've said.
even though he reveals his name, do u think that is the real name? if you were him, would u wish to have someone asking u "oh, you are the one starting a blog telling your homeless story!!" when you go, e.g. an interview?
can feel that you are getting steadier. best of luck! keep "watching" you here :)
Gogogo my friend. It's your life and you are the one who is going to regain what you have lost. Being anonymous or not is not an issue to me. The reality of cyberspace is that nothing is real or fake. It depends on how you view it. We'll be here to share your losses and gains. =)
How about a pseudonym? If you can one of these days check out waiterrant.net and you will get what I mean. Take care.
haan - Thank you for the understanding. That's exactly how I feel, and that is the reason why I want to remain anonymous.
colourfulworld - Yup, its only a perception and it is all down to us on how we want to view it.
ayesha - Thanks for the link. I will check it out when I got the time. I just want to find a channel to sometimes vent out my frustration, the things I realized now, and the lessons I had learnt.
Post a Comment